4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
