She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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