sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I just want nice things and good sex
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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