Your dad touched me again.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
