I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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