There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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