We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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