It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
