i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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