apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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