I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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