i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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