my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
