Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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