my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
