Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
