put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
