we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Houston, we have a squirter
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You have to summon your inner elephant
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
