just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
