Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
