well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
