Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
