I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
