Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
My feet surprised me
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