Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
