tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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