I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
