Only a mothe r could love this liver
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
