He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
