just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
