i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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