you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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