I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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