Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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