i don't like sucking hair
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
