I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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