So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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