You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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