just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
