forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
