She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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