Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I puked a lego.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Randomize
