You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
