I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
