Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
