on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
