Too much gin, very little bucket
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
No...this little piggys going to the bar
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
