he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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