my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
