Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
